walk softly, and carry a big stick..thanks teddy rose

its Tax time. the venomous government is at it again.

"Render unto Cesear what is Cesaer's" or keep allowing him to suck out the life that's left?

today the realization that I am very much an adult has hit in full force.

Oh, the days when lying in bed all day long was allowed.

Mommy and daddy took care of the bills, bank accounts, and big spending.

time to wake up and smell the roses..the responsibility is mine! dah!

yet another rude awakening.

Gotta take care of this grown-up business and make sure that slithering snake doesn't destroy my savings this year! (what's left of it..)

fluid-filled lungs and a weakened heart

today i lost my gram.
the matriarch of the Naus'.
our glue.
it was such a huge shocker, seeing as how last week she was perfectly normal.
it seems like the tears pour out so much that my lachrymal ducts nearly burst.
such a bittersweet feeling when a grandparent dies.
yes, she lived a long and full life. at 83, she passed up the average.
yet, she was still the core of this network we call family.
i felt selfish for wanting to keep her alive in spite of her crippling pneumonia and weak heart. finally, i gave up and said, "ok, God, if you take her, let it be swift and peacefully".
He did just that.
i hurt. but she no longer hurts. that is the heart of the matter.

"no more sorrow. no more death. no more crying...

even so Lord Jesus, come."

even numbers

Tomorrow. 24. ha! I remember journaling about this momentous event when I was little. It would be the pinnacle age. Or so I imagined. All wise, all knowing, all settled...well, sort of. "Perhaps I would have a degree, career, and family by then," I would ponder. Hmmmm...the understanding of a 7 year old. Putting my life in the typical cookie-cutter Americana mold. Sure hasn't turned out to be what I expected. While the majority of my high school classmates have taken great joy in following that model, I am on quite the other end of things. Taking my sweet time on schooling, scoping out my diverse career options, and still even wondering if marriage is for me. (Wow, did I just say that out loud...yeah...)
How have I come to this point? 24 years after the dawn of my arrival? I have fought, plead, cried, screamed, laughed, and broken into song on many occasion. Asking God what if's and maybe's, or perhap's. And He seems to say, "Look back" and "Wait". Two things that are satisfying and unnerving all at the same time. As I see where He has taken me, or even carried me through the last 23 years I am convinced that He will keep His promises for yet another year.
Thus, here is to 24. 24 new possibilities. 24 fresh outlooks on life. 24 reasons to be a better person. 24 happy people to love.
24. more?

 

Welcome to the United States of America.

in the quietude.

I feel like I'm on a journey of discovery right now. Understanding my place in life. Understanding my motivation for the things that I do. Understanding what I'm doing here. Understanding how to just BE... 

There are a ton of things sprinting through my mind right now. God what is your place for me? What should be the root of my motivations? How can I trust You more deeply then myself in a society that trains people to be self-dependent? When can I become so able to listen to Your voice that all other noise is muted? 

I'm beginning to have a strong appreciation in the silence of being alone. For when I am alone, I am able to process some of these questions and thoughts. Yet, it is also in the quiet that I begin to get antsy and impatient as well...Dah! Oh, the longing for complete dependance upon the Lord in these times of seeming nothingness...which are really meant to be times of complete fulness. 

 

i have come to realize that nothing can be done by happenstance. 

Soy Estudiante...aiai!

The joys of becoming a student again! So those who have been a student for 6 years or more would refute that statement...however for us newbies it is  quite exciting! I suppose some may categorize that statement as slightly bias seeing as how it is not your average school that you get a massage every day! hah! I just smile and say, "I have to give one every day as well", thus equaling out the amazingness!  However, there are some subjects that are slightly more challenging. Such as A&P, I had to clear out the cobwebs for that one to sink in a little better. As a whole, the classes are refreshing :) And now I get to be on the other side of the desk again... Obnoxious student? Yes I am. hehe...but it is so much fun! I understand my teachers a whole lot better than before, thus I know when to stop. Eh-hem...which a few of my students could have learned when I was teaching them :) (You know who you are.) Yes...so, that's my story. And to be quite honest...I think I got off pretty easy with good students. Sigh* Love them. Love where I am now. Wish I could put them together :)